Russia's Crazy Dinner Party
by RocksAndGuns
Summary: The Soviet Union collapsed many years ago, leaving Russia all on his own. None of his family checked on him and nothing could cheer him up. The only thing that'll make him happy again is if he can bring his family back. He invites them to dinner in hopes of having them agree to be with him forever, but they could never agree to be with him willingly, right?
1. Prologue

Prologue

'They all left me,' Russia thought. His massively sized house was so empty with only him living there. He remembers when his house was full of people and everyone was happy. Ukraine, Belarus, Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania used to live with him, but they broke apart from him and now he's alone. 'We were so happy together, but now they're gone. Why did they leave me? Do they not remember how close we were?' Russia thought to himself. The Baltic Nations were like his children to him. He loved them like he was their father. Sure, sometimes he hurt them but it was always for their own good. After all, what kind of father doesn't discipline his children?

Right now, he was seated in a chair in his Living Room. The room had a frigid chill to it. The winters in Russia were always cold, but they never felt this cold and lonely when his family was in the house. They put life into the dull home. Without him, the house didn't feel like home. It felt dead, like all the liveliness had been drained out when they left. He had to get them back.

"I need them to come back to me! Mother Russia is depressed without them," he thought aloud. "I wish they'd stay with me forever, but they wouldn't do it willingly. I'd have to plan something. I'm sure once they're with me, they'll never want to leave, but what if they try to leave anyways? I can't lose them again!" he continued.

"It has been 24 years since they abandoned me. I haven't been able to find happiness since then," he said. "It's been so lonely. I've tried to cheer myself up, but nothing seems to work."

A wave of memories washed over him. All his failed attempts to be happy again failed. At first, he tried getting himself a dog to make the house less lonely. He had went to the nearest animal shelter and adopted a beautiful golden retriever puppy named Krasa. She was very shy towards Russia and always seemed to be hiding from him. He thought she would warm up to him, but she never did. One day when he took her on a walk, she managed to break free from the leash. Krasa ran as fast as her little legs could take her, which was surprisingly fast considering how small she was. Russia spent hours calling for her, but she never took Russia almost a year to stop searching for her.

After he had accepted that she was gone, he found a scrawny ginger cat digging through his trash. Russia decided to let the cat into his home, figuring that it must not have a home if it's so skinny. He named the cat Tanya and loved her. He spoiled the cat with plenty of table scraps and treats. She went from being a thin cat to being quite plump. He did his best not to upset Tanya, in hopes that she wouldn't leave him. The cat soon became morbidly obese from all the extra people food she got. He only had her for three years before he had to bury her in his backyard.

He kept on trying to fill the void in his life with pets that never stayed. They always ran away or died too soon. After his mistake with Tanya, he got himself a bunny. He ended up neglecting it in fear of over-loving it. Needless to say, that rabbit barely lasted for a month. He couldn't even keep his fish lasting for long. It broke his heart every time he woke up and saw them floating at the top of the tank. No matter how many pets he got, they never cured his sadness.

The overwhelming amount of death and loneliness made him depressed. It didn't help that no one ever bothered to check on him.

Russia snapped out of his thoughts when he felt his icy tears silently pouring down his face. He let out a small sniffle before he ended up bursting into tears. He was so damn lonely and no one could even bother to call him! This thought made Russia both depressed and frustrated. It was as if no one loved him. The only thing that he has to comfort him is his vodka. "Hmm, it wouldn't hurt to drink my pain away. It doesn't solve the problem, but it feels good to forget how much it hurts."

He pulled out a bottle of his favorite drink from the freezer. It was half-way empty, but that didn't matter. He put the bottle to his lips, but stopped himself. "This won't solve anything. I'll still be lonely afterwards." He put the bottle back in the freezer for later.

"Maybe I should invite them to dinner! They'll make the house happy again and I wont be alone anymore! I can make them stay with me forever," he exclaimed. "I should be able to get them over tomorrow! If not, they'll be here soon. I could say that we'll be discussing business so that they'll have to come. It wouldn't be a complete lie. After all, I'll be talking about them being with me for all eternity so that's serious business." Russia planned more details in his head, thinking about the perfect way to make them stay.

"This is perfect, they can't refuse!" he said once he finished his planning. He went to his office and typed up an email that invited them to dinner where they would discuss business. He would have a home cooked dinner at his place tomorrow. Now, he just had to plan the dinner and wait for them to reply.

After about an hour of deciding what dinner would be, he checked his email. He had three replies. One was from Ukraine, the second was from Belarus, and the third was from Lithuania.

He opened Ukraine's email first. The words inside disappointed him. It basically said that she couldn't come because her boss wouldn't let her, especially since dinner was going to be at his house. This was unacceptable! He sent another email describing how URGENT it was that she come to dinner. He wont let Ukraine decline.

Next, he opened the email from Belarus. It said that she'd LOVE to come and how she wishes she could come over now. He would tell her that she could, but he wants everyone together. Also, his house is filthy from not being motivated enough to properly clean it. He knew that Belarus would come, which made Russia very happy.

Finally, he opened Lithuania's email. He said that he would rather the dinner be in a public restaurant. Otherwise, he'll be there. Yet again, Russia had to stress how important it was that he come. He also made a point that he didn't want civilians overhearing their discussion.

After all his work, we went to bed. Tomorrow would be the day that he'd bring his family back together.


	2. Chapter One

**Chapter One**

I eventually convinced my family to come over after an excessive amount of emails sent to convince them. I can't wait for us to be back together again! We can be one big happy family and the house will be full of life again! I've already tidied the house up so all we'd have to do is get their belongings here once they say yes. There is no option of them saying no. They will be with me forever!

It's five o'clock so I should start getting dinner ready. They'll be arriving around seven o'clock and I have a lot of food to prepare. After all, I don't want to leave anyone hungry! First, we'll have salad to start off. Then, I'll serve some chicken as the meat with some mashed potatoes on the side. Just in case they're not satisfied by that, I'll also have some Borsch prepared. It may be a very heavy soup to be serving when there is already a meat dish but I need to make sure everyone is well fed. It'll be much harder to refuse to join me on a full stomach. Of course, there will have to be bread at the table. It wouldn't feel like a real dinner without bread. I'm not sure what I'll be making for desert. It might just end up being tea.

I bought a fairly large whole chicken. I'm not sure if I've ever seen a bird this big! It should be enough for everyone. I start humming a song while I prepare the food. I'm certain that this dinner party will be great!

I finally finished preparing all of the food. I set the table for all six of us, still humming a familiar song. I don't remember where I've heard it, but it sounds nice. I hope my guests feel special that I've set my fine china out for them to eat off of. Once the table is set, I organize the spread of food. I went ahead and put the bread and salad on the table since we'll be eating that first. Now all I have to do is change my clothes and wait for them to come over. I check the clock to see the time. Right now, it's six thirty so I have plenty of time to change. Wait, I almost forgot something! I pulled out my best unopened wine from the fridge. The meal won't feel right without any alcohol. I set the white wine on the table and set out some wine glasses.

"Haha, silly me!" I laughed. Out of all people, I was the person who almost forgot to set out the alcohol! What a silly mistake! It's a good thing I noticed before everyone came over. Otherwise, it would be very awkward for everyone.

Now that I've fixed that, I went to my room and changed out of my pajamas. I quickly slipped on the usual outfit I wear at meetings, putting on my tan coat last. Now that I'm changed, all I have to do is wait.

I couldn't even step out of my bedroom before I heard my doorbell ringing. "I'm coming!" I yelled out to the mysterious person. I wonder who is hear so early. I quickly make my way to the door and open it.

"I'm here, big brother! Is this where you're finally going to propose? When will we get married?" Belarus said.

"You're so funny, Belarus!" I replied. She gave me a disappointed glare before I continued, "If I were to propose, I wouldn't tell you. Besides that, we're not getting married. You are my little sister and it wouldn't be good for family members to get married," I said. She looked hurt and clung herself to me.

"Big brother will marry me one day!" she declared, the sound being muffled by my coat. It's very cute how she loves me, but she seems to be confusing family love for romantic, special love. I'm sure she'll grow out of this phase one day. I think I overheard Lithuania saying that he had feelings for her, but I see all of us as a big family so I'm not sure if that would work. Never mind that, it's dinner time!

"Come on inside, little sister! I have made dinner!" She happily came inside. I had labeled all the chairs so that everyone would know where to sit. She looked over the names and swapped her name tag and Ukraine's name tag so that she'd be seated beside me. Oh well, that should have been expected. I don't know why I didn't seat her there in the first place.

The doorbell rang again, followed by three knocks. That must be Latvia. He always rings the bell _and_ knocks, just in case the bell is broken. I remember when he used to ring the bell excessively. While they still lived with me, the doorbell ended up breaking once. Instead of ringing, it made an annoying buzz sound. Well, he rapidly pressed the bell and it was very loud and annoying. I taught him a lesson that day. I showed him that he should ring once, then he should knock. Just to make sure he understood, I gave him a reasonable punishment. He spent a week in the punishment room without food or water. He ate like a starved dog once the week was over. It wasn't that long without food, was it?

I heard the ring again, snapping me out of my thoughts. I answered the door before he finished knocking. As expected, it was little Latvia. He's just as shaky as I remember. I wonder why he still hasn't seen a doctor for his shaking problem. After all these years, I figured he'd get it fixed. It's strange how all three Baltics seem to have a shaking problem. Maybe they got themselves sick while they lived with me.

"H-Hello, Mr. Russia," Latvia said, stuttering. I remember how he used to not stutter when I first got him. Maybe he really did get sick when he lived with me.

"Welcome home, Latvia! Come on in. I put dinner on the table," I said, just as I had practiced in the mirror. I hope I sound joyful enough to sound convincing. They all need to get a taste of how great it'll be once we're together again.

"O-Okay," Latvia said. He walked into the dining room and sat down in the chair with his name. At least he does as he should. I think I've raised him very well. Now I just need to wait for Estonia, Lithuania, and Ukraine.

This time, I only hear a knock on the door. Perhaps that's Lithuania at the door.

I open the door and see that it's not only Lithuania at the door, but Ukraine and Estonia are also there! Everyone is here now!

"Welcome home! I've made dinner for everyone! Come on it," I greet them. They nervously enter the house, no home. They make this house into a home when they are here. Ukraine looks a bit overdressed in her formal, dark blue suit but I don't mind. It's actually kind of cute.

"You look very nice, Big Sister Ukraine!"

"Oh, err… thank you," she says nervously, no bashfully. There is no reason for her to be nervous. She is just shy.

Everyone gets seated in the proper seat, so I can now start the dinner.

"Good evening, everyone! Thank you all for coming! Let me start everyone off with some drinks!" I opened the wine bottle with ease and filled everyone's glasses. Except for little Latvia's glass.

"I'm sorry, my little Latvia, but you can't have any of this. Let me get you some juice instead." I set the bottle down and went to the kitchen. I quickly grabbed a bottle of apple juice and brought it to the table. I poured a reasonable amount of juice in his glass and sat back down.

"Excuse me, Russia," Ukraine said.

"What is it, Big Sister?" I asked.

"Isn't it a bit inappropriate for us to drink alcohol at a formal meeting?"

"Silly, Ukraine! We are family so it is okay!" I replied, still trying to make the mood joyful. Right now, everyone looked tense and uncomfortable. My comment doesn't seem to help. "You all look so glum, cheer up!" They try to fake a smile, except Belarus who has never expressed emotions well. How do I make them feel better? Dinner! They're probably just hungry! After all, I love them so they have to love me, right?

"Now, I bet you're all hungry," I said. I picked up the salad and put a pretty large portion on Ukraine's plate. "Don't worry, I'll make sure all of you are well fed!" I continued to put a heaping amount of salad on everyone's plates. Everyone must be famished if they look that glum! Once the salad was on all the guests' plates, I put a normal serving on my plate. It would be rude to eat too much of the salad while I have such famished guests.

"Eat up and drink to your heart's content! After all, there's plenty more where that came from!" I spoke with bubbly happiness. I wish they would be more cheerful about our reunion. Maybe they still think this is supposed to be a business meeting.

Big sister looks so nervous. She's taking such small sips of wine and she isn't eating much. All three of the Baltics are shaking like leaves. The only people who don't look ill at this dinner party are me and Belarus. Are they not hungry? Do they hate me?!

No, that's ridiculous. They love me and will stay with me forever. They were just mistaken when they thought they would be better without me. It was just a foolish slip up. The only reason they haven't come back is because they must think I don't want them back. In reality, I want them here so bad. I just need to let them know that it's okay. Everything will be alright.

After a long while of them picking at their food, I deduce that they're probably just sick of eating all that salad.

"I bet you're all ready to get into the actual food, hm?" They only stared at me with gloomy, anxious faces. "I'll take that as a yes!" I took away their dirty plates. Belarus was the only guest that finished her salad. I dropped the plates into the sink. As I was about to get the clean plates from my cupboard, I felt a pair of arms wrap around my midsection. I turned around and it was my cute little sister, Belarus.

"Oh, hello, Belarus! What is it?" I remember when I used to hide from her in terror. I don't know why my old self used to do that. She's so adorable and sweet.

"Does Big Brother want help with the dishes?" Belarus asked.

"You're so thoughtful, but you're my guest. I'll do the dishes after dinner."

"Why doesn't Big Brother love me?" she whined like a sad dog.

"I do love you, Belarus!"

"Marry me!" she exclaimed, squeezing me in a tight, but loving hug.

"I'm sorry but siblings can't marry! It's just not right, sister," I told her, putting emphasis on the word sister. During her stay, she used to slide wedding magazines under my bedroom door passive aggressively. There were always quite a few elegant dresses that she'd circle in red marker.

"I love you!" Belarus yelled. Luckily, my coat muffled most of it. "Love means marriage!"

"There's a difference between family love and romantic love. Family love does not lead to marriage," I say sternly. "Now, you need to go back to the table so I can serve dinner." She nods and walks away.

I grab the nice plates and set them on the table. I return to the kitchen to get the giant pan of chicken and the potatoes. Once I return, I serve everyone the food. They seem to be eating a bit more, so maybe they just didn't want salad.

After a few minutes, Ukraine looked me in the eye and asked, "Now, Russia, when are we going to discuss the 'business' you mentioned in the email? You haven't told us a thing. Instead, you've been giving us dinner. Honestly, I'd like an explanation." This was pretty out of character for Ukraine. Is she mad that I sort of lied?

"I was going to wait until a bit further into dinner to talk about the business, but I'll talk if that's what you want." I sighed. "The thing is, I miss you all. We used to be so happy together, but you all made the mistake of leaving. I'm ready for you to come back! I love you all so much! All I'm asking is that you come back to me. So, please, become one with me again."

"Of course, Big Br-!" Belarus started until Ukraine interrupted, standing up out of her chair.

"I've worked so hard to break free from you, but you still think I want you back?! I'm not going back to you! I'm an independent woman that isn't coming back!" Ukraine yelled in anger.

"Calm down and eat. It'll be okay!" I spoke in a soft tone. "It would be rude to not finish!"

She sat herself back down and continued to eat. I know that she doesn't want to come back, but I just need to help her realize how much she wants to stay.

"What about the rest of you? Do you all want to stay?" I asked.

"I-I'd r-rather not," Latvia softly muttered.

"I-I agree w-with h-him," Estonia replied. Why don't they love me? I've done so much for them and they reject my love.

My heart hurts and it's their fault! Don't they know what's best for them?! This is it. I'll have to bring them back. I'm sure they're just being foolish! THEY LOVE ME!

"M-Mr. Russia, are y-you okay?" Lithuania asked. He hasn't answered my question. He'll stay with Mother Russia! He has to!

"Become…. one…. Lithuania?" I mutter, turning to face him. "You have to…."

"N-no, Mr. Russia. I h-have my own life away f-from you," he stuttered softly, looking away from me.

"Don't you all love me?" I asked. They looked down, unresponsive.

This is irritating. I slammed my hands on the table making everyone look at me frightened. "ANSWER THE QUESTION!" I yelled.

The Baltics were shaking so bad that they might as well be vibrating. It kind of reminds me of a hand-held mixer, trembling in your hands as it works.

"P-Please d-don't hurt m-me!" Lithuania choked out. I walked over to him and roughly gripped his shoulder. I leaned in to his whisper into his ear.

"Don't leave me again," I angrily whispered. He nodded and a fear-induced tear rolled down his cheek. "That's better," I murmured, stroking one of his chestnut brown locks.

I stood up and smiled. "You know that I love you all, so I don't get why you cower like this. Oh well, let's eat!"

Everyone returned to their dinners, barely managing to eat it. Once everyone else looked pretty much done, I figured that I should skip the Borsch and go straight to making the tea. They all seem to be full anyways.

"Are you all done?" I inquired. They all eagerly nodded. "Okay, I'll take up your plates."

"T-Thank you for dinner, M-Mr. Russia. I best be going now," I heard Lithuania say.

"Please stay for a bit longer! You wouldn't want to miss my tea! It's so cold outside and the tea can keep you warm on the way home!" I begged. He sighed in defeat and sat back down. That's better.

I brought the plates to the kitchen and started to heat up the water for tea. While that's heating, I need to go get my special 'ingredient' from my bedroom. I think I hid it in my sock drawer.

I go to my room and shuffle through my sock drawer until I feel the jar. _Perfect_. I pull it out and look at its contents. It may just look like white powder, but it's so much more. My 'ingredient' is so important. Since they wouldn't stay on their own, I'll just have to use force. They left me no choice.

I shove the jar into my pocket and return to the kitchen. It looks like the water is hot, so I pull it off the stove. I grab my nice tea cups and set them on the counter.

I place a teabag in each cup and pour water into each cup. Then, in five of the cups, I put a hefty amount of the 'ingredient' in and stir until it dissolves. My cup has a snowflake pattern while the rest have a striped pattern so that I don't mix the cups up. They won't be able to detect my powder at all.

I set the cups onto a tray and bring them to the table. I pass out the tea to everyone and sip some of my own. Hesitantly, they take a few sips out of politeness. Now, I just have to wait until my 'ingredient' kicks in.

"So, how have you been, Ukraine?" I ask, trying to start up a conversation.

"I've been fine," she replies and takes another sip. "I went shopping the other day."

"Oh, what did you buy?" I ask, pretending to be interested.

"Well, I bought this outfit I'm wearing, I bought, um…" Ukraine started, but stopped. Her eyelids started to flutter. She tried to fight against the drowsiness, but it was to no avail; she collapsed in her chair pitifully.

The others' eyes widened in shock. I could see the fear in their eyes. Their fear will make the tea kick in faster.

Estonia seemed to realize what I had done and he ran for the door. I quickly intervened by pushing him down. While he was temporarily stopped, I locked the door so that it'd be a bit harder for them to leave.

"W-why?" Estonia hoarsely questioned. He looks like he's fighting to stay awake.

"It's only because I love you," I stated. His eyes finally closed shut and his body went limp. Only a few more to go.

"Oh god, why?!" Lithuania exclaimed. He desperately tried to run for the door just as Estonia did. Before he could even get halfway to the door, he fell onto the floor in a pathetic heap.

I couldn't help but giggle at their helplessness. The giggling turned into laughter and I just couldn't stop. It's as if my family is a part of my circus show with me as the ring leader. I stopped when I saw the sad look on Belarus's face.

"Big brother, you didn't have to do this…" she murmured in horror of the turn of events my party has taken.

"You must be sleepy, hmm?" She nodded so I gently picked her up and set her on the couch. "Shh, it'll be okay, little sister. Big brother is only tucking you into bed. Everyone is just drowsy from dinner, so don't worry." I took a blanket from the couch and draped it over her. "You should go to bed. I have a fun day planned for tomorrow." I kissed her forehead as she peacefully fell asleep. Her tea must not have had as much 'ingredient' if she was able to stay awake.

I turn around and see that Latvia had passed out while my back was turned. Now that I have them here, things will be all better again soon.

 **AN: Thank you everyone who's already liked my story! I posted the prologue a week ago and I already have an audience! I'm not sure how long this story will be, but I'm sure it's going to be great. Thanks for reading!**


End file.
